I Start Books

 

I am increasingly annoyed by my habit of beginning books without finishing them.  There is an element of perfectionism in my nature (albeit an extremely selective sort of perfectionism which cares not at all that the desk is a disaster area, but cannot bear something put away in the wrong place) that rebels at not finishing a book.  It’s just wrong, somehow!

But I do it all the time.  The problem is not really that I want to read the rest of the book so badly.  The problem is that I cannot put the book away (or return it) until I have read it all.  Today I looked at the steeply teetering stack of reading material on my desk–not only books I am currently reading (or stalled out on,) but also schoolbooks and magazines.  Magazines present an even greater problem, because it’s really hard for me to throw one away until I am positive I have read or skimmed every article, and when there are about a dozen magazines kicking around the house, how can I possibly remember where I am in each one? 

Okay, I know.  This is sounding sick.  I need help.  I need counseling or something.  I also have mountains of material on my computer which I have downloaded, which someday….oh, okay, we won’t go there. 

Anyway, today I am making a tiny stab at rectifying this situation.  I cleaned off my desk.  I found at least ten books which I have started and not finished.  I also found quite a few which I haven’t even started.  I have at least five to return, most of which I borrowed 6 months to a year ago.  (Yeah, this is a warning…if you’re loaning me a book, set a time limit.  I DO always return books, but I confess that I often keep them too long.)

In the process, I also found several books with markers in various places–quotes that I particularly liked or wanted to think about more.  I think I’ll start posting those on a regular basis, just because this is one place I can keep them and actually be able to find them again!    Also because some of those quotes need to be discussed.  So I hope you’ll discuss them with me.

And I have a stack of books to return this weekend.  I am feeling rather pleased with that.  Not one of them have I finished, but I am letting go of them, returning them to their owners.  It’s a start, right?  Of course, there IS one whose owner has now moved to a different state…  oops!

And as soon as that desk is finished, I start on this desk, which is also stacked fairly high.

I think a lot of my feelings of overload are wrapped up in all this unfinished business.  After all, a book unfinished lies at the bottom of my consciousness and festers.  I can’t stand to dispose of it, but don’t have time to deal with it.  And the problem is certainly not limited to books.  There are always dozens of my ideas scattered like confetti all over the house–tiny bits that make no sense to anyone else, but are representative of a project to do, an idea to research, a lesson to share. 

Is there such a thing as adult-onset ADD?  And if so, is there a cure?

 

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About dayuntoday

I'm a wonderer. I spend a lot of time mulling, pondering, and cogitating. This is just a place to park some of those thoughts.
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3 Responses to I Start Books

  1. PeacefulLady says:

    I’m like that with books too. The last years though i just firmly put the book away when I see “it just ain’t gonna happen”. The worst is returning borrowed books that I haven’t read all the way through because I know I can’t just pull it off the shelf anytime I want.It sure feels good to return things though.. I like the Glen Beck quote above. From a current read?I agree with the “unfinished business” feeling. I’m slowly working my way through stuff too. Thanks for the inspiration. ~Irene

  2. QMTJ says:

    Hey…..you just described ME.  Except….I don’t ever borrow books.  I BUY THEM.  Now, how dumb is that???  I won’t tell you the last time I began and FINISHED a book.  I love to read.  I just can’t FINISH.  When YOU find a cure, let me know.  ;)Funny you should mention adult-onset ADD….I just looked that up on the internet the other day….diagnosing myself again.  LOL……..have a good evening.  Good for you on cleaning off your desk…..Q.’

  3. fwren says:

    adult onset ADD?  What is my disease called?  My mouth seems to not be connected to my brain any longer ~ or at least some of the time.  I think one word or phrase ~ something entirely different comes out of my mouth!  It’s scary!!!  I declare, sometimes I have NO IDEA where that came from when I realize what I said!  I think it is all called “getting old” or something like that ~

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