Singleness of Mind


Wow, what a weekend.  It was really lovely.  It’s interesting how much a singles retreat can enrich your marriage!~    We came home with so much to talk about.  We could hardly fall asleep last night, because we kept thinking of more things we wanted to discuss.  It was inspiring, uplifting, and just plain fun!

Just to update on the situation I was stressing about last time I wrote…  Friday, my wonderful husband actually took off work and stayed home to help pick up branches, clean up the yard, and generally get the place a bit spiffed up.  We all cleaned like crazy and cleared out extraneous junk.  We even backed dh’s work trailer up to the door and loaded some boxes into it so that it wouldn’t look like there’s not a lot of storage space in the house.  We had finished all this and were beginning to get ready to head for the hotel where the retreat was being held, when the realtor called.

Maybe you’ve guessed.  Yep. They canceled.  Sigh.  Actually, what escaped my lips was a bit more impassioned than sigh, if you want to know–I was furious, to be frank.  After all that work, when I really hadn’t felt like I had time for it in the first place.  Of all the NERVE…  So we unloaded the trailer, trying to understand what purpose God could possibly have in something like this.  Ah, well.

But the retreat itself was just great.  So much wonderful material, so many neat people to connect with…  just a tremendous blessing.  And it is simply wonderful how God works everything out perfectly, even when we really don’t know what we’re doing!  It was the first time we tried to organize an event like this, and things were fairly scattered at first, but it all came together amazingly well.

The only rather difficult aspect of it was during the first night.  I may write more about that later.  It definitely challenged our resolve to love and pray for all people…

I think I’ll just add a snippet from the weekend to each post for awhile.  There were so many good thoughts, and I think they really deserved a wider audience.  Here was one thought that I loved.

Do you ever think “What’s wrong with me?”  If you desire to marry, but God hasn’t yet provided a mate, there’s a temptation to think that something must be wrong.   You feel rejected, unloved, forsaken.  But whenever you have negative thoughts, turn to the Word of God.  In the Bible, does anyone ever feel rejected? 

What about God himself?  Over and over, all through scripture, God’s people reject him.  The Israelites, even after being miraculously delivered from slavery in Egypt, continually turned their back on God, leaving him behind for gods who never blessed them in any way.  Don’t you think God felt rejected? 

And Jesus?  He was despised and rejected of men.  He was beaten, spit on, and eventually put to death.  What was wrong with him?  Nothing.  There is NOTHING wrong with God!  But he was rejected by the very people he came to save!

So if you feel rejected, remember that doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you.  You are in the very best of company–who has ever been rejected by more people than our great God?  David felt rejected, but he was called a man after God’s own heart.  Job certainly must have felt rejected, but he was commended by God as “blameless and upright, fearing God and turning away from evil.”  Rejection has nothing to do with worth.

Isn’t that a beautiful thought?  It’s applicable to any time that we feel discouraged and unloved, I think, no matter whether we’re married or single.

And oh, by the way, the realtor called and wants to show the house Wednesday afternoon… 



About dayuntoday

I'm a wonderer. I spend a lot of time mulling, pondering, and cogitating. This is just a place to park some of those thoughts.
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14 Responses to Singleness of Mind

  1. ElizabethDNB says:

    How frustrating!Hello my friend.  I have been mostly off of xanga lately.  still adjustign to working about twice as many hours, and also doing facebook more, because I can do it from my phone on the go!How are you?

  2. the_grat says:

    ‘Do you ever think “What’s wrong with me?”  If you desire to marry, but…’   oh like wow.  doing my best NOT to comment on this one !  LOL =) 

  3. homefire says:

    @ElizabethDNB – sheesh, so many of my friends have gone to facebook.    I may have to break down and get an account…  Hope the new work situation is going well–sounds difficult to me!

  4. mom1945 says:

    Thanks so much for sharing the tidbit of maturiel they heard. Mychia kept saying how much she enjoyed it but didn’t go into detail. So sorry about the realtor disapointment! I’d have been aggravated too! Thanks for all you did to prepare for the wonderful weekend. I’m sure a lot of planning went in to it! I hope this becomes a yearly thing! 🙂 Feeling rejected is such a basic human problem and you addressed it so well! Wish I could have heard Reuban’s message that went with the the painting. I really enjoyed the weekend too and hope to do it again. I was glad to sit across from you at dinner and get to know you a little better. You connect well with young folks! And what a good message Sunday! Thanks again!!!! God bless!

  5. I always feel awkward talking to unmarried people or infertile people about their situation because I married early and had no problem having babies. I somehow feel like anything I say would be trite.I’m so glad you had a lovely time at the retreat! I’ve never gone on one like that.

  6. homefire says:

    @TeacherPerson – I know exactly what you mean.  This was so good for us.  It made me much more sensitive to what singles go through, and I think I will be a little better able to know what to say (and NOT to say!) from now on.  It was eye-opening to me to hear a beautiful, confident single woman describe with tears the day that she realized she would probably never have children of her own.  I had always looked at her as perfectly in control–it was quite overwhelming to realize all the struggles she has gone through.  Another thing that was really valuable was to realize that even though our daily lives are different in many ways, the things that single people struggle with are mostly the same as the ones married people struggle with.  They’re just human problems, and we’re all human!  I think it’s really easy to lose track of that and focus on our differences rather than our similarities.

  7. homefire says:

    @mom1945 – I enjoyed getting to know you, too!  And we certainly hope for it to be a yearly thing as well.  We’re meeting Thursday evening to discuss it and throw out ideas for next year. 

  8. fwren says:

    This sounds so special ~ thank you for taking the time to share it with us.  The realtor?  Feed him brownies ~

  9. robinbritt says:

    sounds like you had a great weekend.  It seems like there was lots to think about.  Something that never ceases to amaze me is how similar we are.  Single or married, American or Japanese or Indonesian we are very similar- we all go through such similar emotions and problems.  We can understand each other more than we think if we try.

  10. CHOBLIT says:

    I’m must be out of the loop….are you moving?  Where?

  11. homefire says:

    @robinbritt – So very true!  It’s just good to have these times to share and realize it again!@CHOBLIT – Well, now that’s a very good question!    We don’t actually know.  We bought a piece of property that we’d like to build on, but we decided that it would be foolish in this houseing market to even begin buildiing without selling this one first.  Our house has been on the market for a year, and this is the second showing.  If it does (by some miracle) actually sell, we’ll be scrambling for a place to live for awhile!  So no, you’re not out of the loop–no earthshaking news! 

  12. I’m a wee bit behind on my xanga subscriptions lol. Thanks for sharing those thoughts about rejection. I really needed to hear that!!! I’ve felt rejected my entire life and I tend to wallow in self-pity. Beautiful thoughts to bring things back into perspective.Blessings,Renee

  13. farleyreader says:

    Thank you for all of your efforts to make the weekend great. I have been grateful so many times over. Thanks Again, Sharon

  14. homefire says:

    @farleyreader – Hey, you are very welcome.  I really don’t feel like we did that much, and it was a huge blessing to us as well!  God is good.    It was great to get to know you, and I hope our paths will cross again one of these times!  @littlelambsx6 – yeah, I wish you could have heard the whole message!  It was really wonderful.  Unfortunately, this is one of the few that we didn’t record (it was a “girls only” session, and got fairly personal) or I’d share it with you.  How’s life these days?  It’s been awhile…

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