Do You Live Deep or Wide?


I got this e-mail this morning in response to my Friends article. 

I have a brother in law who has said for years that we only have
time in life for about a dozen deep relationships. If we try to
have more than that we will likely fall short and feel frustrated.
He also says we should live deep, not wide. 
I always thought
we should try to touch as many different people
as we can
but his thought is concentrate on a few, live deep, and have
something to offer them.

Interesting thought.  What do you think?  Do you agree?  Or do you like to spread your attentions between many friends?  Is one way better than the other?




About dayuntoday

I'm a wonderer. I spend a lot of time mulling, pondering, and cogitating. This is just a place to park some of those thoughts.
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9 Responses to Do You Live Deep or Wide?

  1. faustuosa says:

    I don’t agree. You have time for as many deep relationships as you like.

  2. I’m a wide. I like to have a lot of friends, but there aren’t that many that I’m deep with. It takes a special person to be able to qualify for that role. 

  3. Gail2 says:

    I’m not sure if there is a one way. I guess, I trust the Lord and be led by the Holy Spirit as to how many, for whatever amount of time/ seasons. As long As I know its by His will…Many times I believe he instill that in us as to how many, a few, or many…could it be according to the personality that one has?  I do know  I am(we) open for the Gospel to many upon many (no numbers in that) to tell others about Jesus!!! The more the Better!  God Bless your week!

  4. SpazzyMommy says:

    I think “wide relationships” is what we have as Christians reaching out to others….as a role model, community service volunteer, your overall testimnony to others….but when it comes to getting our spiritual nourishment, fellowship, wisdom and counsel we take/give that with very few with who we’ve establed “deep” relationships with.That’s just my opinion- off the top of my head. :)Great thought though!!

  5. lookin4Jesus says:

    I don’t think it’s possible to go deep with very many; you just stretch yourself too thin, but I do think it’s important to not only concentrate on your “deep friendships”. That makes you rather “one-sided” and there’s always someone who is lonesome for friends.

  6. computerguyw says:

    I always prefer quality (depth) to quantity (width).  It seems to me that Jesus kind of had a mixture of both.  Only about three close disciples were there in the garden of Gethsemane (and they fell asleep on Him), or on the mount of transfiguration.  And it only mentions about three women who were the first to visit the empty tomb (before they told the men, only some of whom ran to check it out).I do agree that you can’t really have more than a few deep relationships, though, because the key variable is time, and we are each given just 24 hours per day.

  7. Hutch5 says:

    interesting question…My thought is that as children of God who should try to minister to all those we come in contact with~ the extent of that to be led by the Holy Spirit. But also, I don’t think we “click” with everyone… some people you do seem to stay “wide” with more versus “deep” ~ no matter how hard you try you’ll never be super close friends. Still, regardless of whether or not we particularly “like” someone we’re commanded to show the love of Christ. But yeah – – I guess all that to say – – I think reality is that we’ll only have a handful of intimate friends throughout our lives.Hope that all came out right… I wrote it in between a crying toddler, my boy making crashing noises while playing w/ his new hot wheels, and answering the phone!!! 😮 ;)Have a great night.  ~a.

  8. homefire says:

    @faustuosa – @TeacherPerson – @Gail2 – @SpazzyMommy – @lookin4Jesus – @computerguyw – @Hutch5 – Thanks to all of you for your comments!  There have been so many good thoughts–I go back and forth as to what I think about this.  I tend to not be very good at maintaining relationships, I think, but I continue to think about and love people even if we haven’t talked for months, so I’m not sure which category that falls into.  I like the thought that even if you can’t have an unlimited nuimber of intimate friendships, you can’t focus solely on those special ones, anyway.  The fleeting friendships are important, too. I know that even a short acquaintance can make a lasting impression.I also have had friendships that are put on hold for several years, then rekindle, and that’s always lovely.  Relationshps wax and wane, and while we probably can’t maintain many intimates at one time (at least I can’t) that doesn’t necessarily mean that we can’t have quite a lot over the course of a lifetime.  The main thing is to always leave the lines of communication open and realize that sometimes friendships hibernate for a time, but that doesn’t mean they’re dead.  Just because a friendship is fairly low-maintenance doesn’t mean that it’s not a special one!

  9. josaju says:

    Being friendly to many people is fine and good.  However, “deep” friendships are rare and should be.  Friends are treasures and should be cherished.  A true friend loves  forgives and overlooks flaws.  They know our faults and love us anyway.How many “true” friends did Jesus have when He walked on earth?  Even one of his select 12 betrayed Him.  The Resurrection means that Grace and His friendship is available to all.Good friends keep in touch. 

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