Blogging Obligations?

So by becoming a blogger, exactly what relationship have I begun? 

I keep seeing people apologize for not having time to read other bloggers’ entries.  And I often feel bad, too, that I can’t keep up with everyone.  But it crossed my mind tonight (as I sit here in the wee hours babysitting a huge print job) that really I have no obligation to read every blog I have subscribed to.  And I can’t read them all, at least not all the time.  I tend to subscribe to a blog any time that I find a couple thought-provoking, heartrending, immensely funny or just plain fun posts.  And I have discovered that there are a LOT of really witty, inspiring, and otherwise talented writers out here in cyberspace.  (If you don’t believe me, just browse my subscription list!) 

But I am a person who prefers low-maintenance friendships, and I am discovering xanga to be rather high-maintenance!  Even if I spend an hour every day, I don’t think I could keep up with all my subs, and since my real life keeps demanding me to participate , spending an hour here every day really isn’t an option.  Not to mention that xanga is not my only online indulgence.  There are a couple other places that I like to keep up on as well.  I often pop on to check my subs and write a post, and by the time I’m finished catching up, there’s no time to write something myself!

I’ve seen people quit blogging for a time or even close their sites completely because they just don’t have time to keep up with it.  I know I have sometimes spent way too many hours here, and felt guilty and frustrated about it.  It’s easy, in the context of blogging, to forge a lot of friendships in a little time.  And then trying to keep up with them all becomes overwhelming!  But I begin to care about all of you, and I really don’t want to miss anything, so . . .  what’s a blogger to do?  Does anyone feel as torn by this as I do?  And if so, what’s your solution?


About dayuntoday

I'm a wonderer. I spend a lot of time mulling, pondering, and cogitating. This is just a place to park some of those thoughts.
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12 Responses to Blogging Obligations?

  1. BooksForMe says:

    I agree 100% with what you’ve shared.  I don’t think anyone should apologize for not reading, posting, or commenting.  Nor should anyone make a person feel obliged to do any of the above. Don’t we have enough things in the real world that we must tend to?  Do we really need to get legalistic about Xanga?  As to “What’s a blogger to do?”  For me, since I do not belong to any other online communities, I usually can keep up with most of my subs.  I read them in my Sub list, which is much faster than going to their site.  If I’m going to comment, I click directly from my Sub list to their Comment link, opening it in a new tab.  Then, once I’ve read all the subs and opened whatever Comment windows I need, I work my way through the tabs as I have time.  Sometimes, a person’s site might be open on my computer all day.  LOLWhen I don’t really have the time or mental energy to comment, or I’m not really sure how to respond to a post, I will leave eProps just to let the person know I read it and appreciated it. It’s a bummer when people try to lay a guilt trip on their readers for not commenting.  I think it’s kinda tacky, but what can you do?  Some folks take their comments pretty seriously.  I had one subber comment on my comments for awhile, whether they were cheerful or long enough or whatever.    That got old real quick!Anyway…I enjoy your blog and your comments, but I promise I will never be offended or feel neglected if you do not comment, read or post!  You are free from all obligation to me, OK? 

  2. I think this doesn’t just apply to blogging.  In general, I adopt a standard of ‘non-hyperskepticism’ regarding friends/acquaintances/relationships.  The way it works is sometimes things come up, people have things to do, they have other high priorities.  What can you really know about their life?  If people don’t get back to you, or don’t have time to do things, I normally assume they have a load on their hands or a good reason.  Why assume otherwise?  After all, it seems the best route since sometimes people are always over-apologizing for things, and I just remind them everytime ‘Hey, you know I’m not hyperskeptical of your intentions. Really. Don’t worry.”  Especially on the web, having latitude about other people seems the best standard.

  3. samcgarber says:

    “adopt a standard of ‘non-hyperskepticism’ regarding friends/acquaintances/relationships” 
    “non-hyperskepticism” I like it alot. 
    You shouldn’t feel bad for not spending 24 hours a day on-line Housefire, some people spend no time at all on-line, those people are the ones who should/will be sorry.  Seriously, I wonder why so many people, myself especially, agonize over the etiquette of blogging.  Could it be that we long for a moral-code-for-bloggers that we could reference to assure our sinlessness in these matters?   

  4. Patenaude says:

    Good blog! Good thoughts! Good comments!!
    I don’t say, “Sorry for not blogging”. I don’t think people are just sitting around waiting to hear what Heather has to say onher blog. I blog for family to keep up with my boys.

  5. fwren says:

    One person told me she didn’t know what she had ever done to me when I hadn’t visited her site in a long while ~ my goodness!  Done to me?  I don’t even know her!  Sigh. . . oh well, I refuse to feel guilty for not reading everything all the time.  Life is too short.  What to do about it?  I do what I can, not out of a sense of obligation, but because, like you said, I feel a friendship with many of my subscribers/subscriptions and I want to!  But many of my subscriptions were made for the same reason yours were ~ varied reasons.  I comment a lot, I think, but not always and not to everyone.  Selective?  Maybe ~ there is no other way to be with limited time and actually, another life besides this!  My family is no longer home, so demands on my time may not be as immediate as others’, and I do a lot of blogging and preparation for posts late at night.  Whatever works for you, homefire ~ after all, this is YOUR site; do what you want and let it go at that, eh?  Goodness me, we humans get so worked up over stuff, don’t we? ~

  6. Anonymous says:

    These are all good comments.  I’ve experienced all your feelings about blogging myself.  At this point, I don’t apologize for not writing everyday or commenting everyday (I have in the past, though).  I do have a life outside the internet.  Besides, how many of us talk to each one of our “real life” friends in person everyday?  There’s enough to feel guilty about as it is.  Ask the Lord for guidance and follow His lead in this.

  7. Anonymous says:

    Oh please, please don’t quit blogging. You & your family are such interesting people. We like to keep up with you!!    

  8. homefire says:

    Just as I expected, there are others who go through this!  Thanks so much for the new word, Stroke of Thought!  Excellent concept.
    I already do pretty much what I want to as far as blogging.  I need to write occasionally.  It’s a good outlet for me.  I love to read other people’s sites, and I generally comment quite a bit, except when I don’t really get what they’re saying.
    The only thing that troubles me is subscriptions.  I hate to miss anything, but my trouble is that I oversubscribe.  I must get a handle on this area, and also get over being compulsive about reading them all ALL the time. 

  9. I have a long(and distinguished lol) subscription list. I get an email every morning at 6am of anyone who wrote a post the day before. The post is there in my email. I don’t even have to go to their blog. So, if you’re on my sub list and wrote a post, I get it. If you didn’t write a post, I don’t keep going to your blog to see if you did. I’m surprised you don’t get an email. It takes me about 5 minutes to read every one’s posts. HTH a little bit

  10. homefire says:

    Five MINUTES?  Boy, you must be a speed reader, Renee, or else I just sub to people who are longwinded!  I do the same thing, but it takes me up to an hour!  Of course, I have to comment here and there…  After all, I’m sure everyone needs my input, LOL! 

  11. Pick people that only blog sporadically.  Like the new background, BTW

  12. Anonymous says:

    There are days I”ve been tempted to shut down my site, which at this point isn’t much!  It’s nice to read other’s post and the discussion going on that pertains to concerns that also share………..then when it comes to my own site, well, I draw a blank and post nothing!  Blogging does take precious time……….it’s amazing how much time I waste rather than sewing (ick!) or cleaning, for example.  As far as not having any time to post, I think it might have something to do with trying to stay ahead of ten plus school children!   Can comparing ourselves among ourselves be applied to blogging and keeping up our sites just because everyone else does?  It’s your site, do what you have to, and don’t let others pressure you! 

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