Did you know that most divorces are sought by women?

As much as we hear about the difficulties of the single mom, that’s really rather amazing.  So many moms are struggling to raise their kids and work full time, and so many times they can hardly keep up.  Why do many women voluntarily join these ranks?

Around 70% of divorces are filed by the wife.  And among couples who own houses and have dependent children, the numbers are even higher, which I find even more amazing.  The report I read said that in spite of a deep attachment to their children and the evidence that many divorces harm children, women are still seeking separation more often than men. 

Why is this?

One speculation I have read is that the wives are more likely to receive custody of children, so they are not as afraid to dissolve the marriage.  A man is more likely to lose his children as well as his wife, in other words, while a woman doesn’t have so much at risk.

Interesting and sad.  Would there be other reasons for this, I wonder?


About dayuntoday

I'm a wonderer. I spend a lot of time mulling, pondering, and cogitating. This is just a place to park some of those thoughts.
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12 Responses to

  1. fwren says:

    Could a lot of it be reaction to something their husbands are doing or not doing?  ~ more so than an independent motive of the wife?  Many times, is it a frustrated feeling of last resort more than a “voluntary” step?  Like, “I can’t take this anymore” or “Anything has to be better than continuing to live with this.”  Not sure I’m even making sense ~

  2. Anonymous says:

    That is sad… and I agree with fwren.

  3. genora4 says:

    i also think women are particularly prone to discontenment. we just think about things, about how they are, how they aren’t, how they could be, etc. it’s easy to let emotions carry us away (i’m speaking for myself). if those negative thoughts and emotions aren’t recognized for what they are (from satan), i can see how women are deceived into believing that they would be ‘happier’ elsewhere. it’s so important to bring EVERY thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ! even though divorce is not an option, i sometimes let discontentment be.

  4. Anonymous says:

    Hello 🙂 I can’t speak for every women who has sought divorce, but I do agree with Fwren, many times it is something that the wife is reacting to, something the husband has done. I am not divorced and I am not seeking divorce as of now, but in my case my husband had a 2 month affair during a time when I was dealing with melanoma. I chose to forgive him but there were other things that happened over the course of the following 2 years (deceit, etc..). Anyway, I know biblicaly i could divorce him, but i choose not to for the sake of my children. I say all this because I know the statistics for men having affairs is HUGE, up to 70% of married men have or will cheat. Unfortunately the church does fair much better.
    This is not to say that all the blame lies all with the men, I know some women do cheat and some women do seek divorce just because they do get discontent. But it would be interesting to see the percentage of women who divorce because of infidelity and deceit.
    As for me, I will continue to choose to forgive and move on. It is hard, but not impossible 🙂

  5. joy4jesus424 says:

    What sad statistics…I soooo agree with genora….one of women’s biggest battles is discontentment. IMO, a lot of that discontent is caused by women being in the business world…also, comparing ourselves among ourselves. Here’s a wise quote from a wise lady regarding husbands: “Give the negatives to God and the positives to your husband.”

  6. Angieprays says:

    I agree with Fwren. I believe also it is easier for women because we are in a societywhere the majority of women work outside their homes. They feel the can take cae of themselves without a man.Despite “equal” working outside the home, most women still do the majority of the cooking,cleaning,childcare when children are sick mom stays home. They feel they do it all. So when they don’t feel appreciated or like they are getting what the need it is easy to leave. Despite the children.I know for me personally, I feel the worst when I think I am being ignored by dh or taken for granted. When I don’t feel loved.I choose to love my dh and I chose to do right.

  7. Anonymous says:

    Because ALL men are pigs.  Yes, I know, I am a man but that is the reason I can say that. 

  8. BooksForMe says:

    Gosh, I had no idea most women pursued divorce. I don’t know why, but the ideas offered above all sound valid to me. I wonder if this was true 20/30/40/50/60, etc. years ago. Has it changed with women working? It’s all sad. I agree 100% with Heismystronghold. We must learn to forgive and work to keep the marriage. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it. Um…yeah, I agree with Hecalmsthestorm, too. Men sure can be pigs. Since women aren’t angels, though, we balance each other out! LOL

  9. Discontentment(oh why couldn’t he be more like Mr. So and So?THEN our lives would be wonderful))
    Discouragement(he’ll never change. I’ve tried to be the perfect wife and mother and it’s never good enough)
    Disappointment(God why don’t you change him?  I’ve tried so hard and You aren’t helping out!)
    Pride(I can’t deal with this anymore. God has let me down. I give up.)
    I read a saying once: Women marry men hoping to change them. Men marry women hoping they’ll never change.
    Sometimes you see a chronic sin in their life that gets you so down you give up. On your husband. On yourself. On your marriage. On God. It’s so very hard to seek help out of fear of what others will think. You don’t want to bad mouth your husband to someone else. You certainly know there are many faults and sins in your own life. It’s a very dark and lonely place to be.

  10. A few more thoughts I wanted to add about the thought process that may lead to divorce.  The more depressed you become, the more satan, the father of lies, attacks. “No one else could possibly understand. They’ve never experienced my problems.” You look at other marriages through rose-coloured glasses. They’re ever so much better than yours with only minor inconsequential problems. Oh you know all the Bible verses. You know you need to “let go and let God”. So easy to preach. So hard to live. You know you’re a failure. You know you’ve let God down. You know what you should do yet you just don’t have the strength or energy to do it anymore. You know you need to lean on God and His Word but God seems so far far away. Then you start wondering if you were ever a Christian in the first place if you could even think such thoughts. Then you doubt everything even more. And God seems even further away. The downward spiral begins, spinning ever faster until you feel  like you’re suffocating and the only way to breathe again is to leave. Pride is a terrible terrible thing.

  11. The best book I have read yet is Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. If we women would give unconditional respect to our husbands I feel they will love us in return the way we desire. I also think most men wouldn’t stray if they felt that respect. I don’t know every man (of course) and their condition but, Ephesians 5:33 tells us as wives to respect our husbands and they are to love us. Now, why would He say that? Its so easy for us to love but, ask your husbands what they would rather have……love or respect? Mine said, “Respect.” Its hard to do when they “step on your air hose” every now and then. I don’t believe all men are pigs….we all tend to act and react to each other’s personalities and through misunderstanding of them as males and we as females because of this “love and respect” thing. As hard as it is for us to Respect unconditionally its also hard for the guys to love us. They know all about respecting each other and even respecting the women. If they know we truly respect them, that we have nothing but, good for them in our hearts, that we won’t be bad mouthing them in public they won’t harden their hearts against us. 1 Peter 3:1 speaks about winning them with our behavior. We can’t and really don’t want to make them be “like a women” but, they learn to Love from us. 

  12. mamaglop says:

    Perhaps more men than women are jerks.  I agree that it is tragic for the kids, but more men are unfaithful, statistically speaking, which means more women are fed up with the cr_p.

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