A Personality Transplant?
When I first read the part about a gentle and quiet spirit, I gave up having much hope of ever making the grade…Oh, dear!
I began to include in my prayers for sanctification a complete personality transplant. Yes, put an angel at the edge of my tongue to guard my every word. And while you’re at it, make me into someone else, please… Someone really good. I believed this was not too much to ask. He is the God of miracles, after all.
God, in his faithfulness, is changing me. But I remain an extrovert. in fact, instead of making me into someone else, he is making me more me. And that is one if the beautiful things about him. That the more his we become, the more ourselves we become; more our true selves.
~from Captivating, Chapter 8
I can’t believe I didn’t write that. I certainly could have! (Except that I don’t know if I’d classify myself an extrovert) For a long time, I prayed that God would just change me. Not only that I would learn to hold my tongue , but I had an entire order form all made up for God of the new person I wanted to be. I wanted to be somebody else! Yup, he needed to make me thoughtful, self-disciplined, a patient mother, a wonderful housekeeper, and oh, yeah, I really need a lot more energy, Lord, so that I can help other people all the time.
And I knew that God could make me entirely different. In fact, I was even a bit reproachful for the way he had made me in the first place! After all, he ought to know that I could serve him so much better if only he’d given me those tendencies.
It took a few years to realize that God has a different plan. One advantage of getting older is that you can look back and learn from your past. As I consider my struggles in earlier years, I can see that they made me grow. They gave me compassion toward others. I have empathy for young women who are overwhelmed, because I’ve been there. I am acquainted with depression, and have experienced the joy of being pulled from the miry clay of despair. I have wallowed in the depths of uncertainty, and remember the contrast of incredible peace when my feet hit the solid Rock. I know what it is to be bitter, and I know the sweetness that comes with forgiveness.
If God had filled my order for a new ME, would I ever have learned these things?
You know, God doesn’t give personality transplants, because he made all things right the first time. But he does refine us, usually just a little at time. Almost imperceptibly, as we strive in the battle, we are changed. Every imperfection, every shortcoming in my life, is an opportunity for God to show His greatness. No, he doesn’t make me a different person, but if I let him, he takes the me that he has given, hones off the rough edges, and gently shapes it into the me that he wants me to be, one that brings glory to HIM! His strength is made perfect in my weakness.
Therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me! 2 Cor 12:9